WEBVTT
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Greetings and salutations.
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Welcome to Sorry, That's My Inside Voice.
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I'm your host, Kat Garcia.
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And as always, I'm here with a cat.
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For tonight's recording in the vibin' recording studio, aka my office, one orange kitten has decided to grace us with her presence.
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I will let you all know that, uh, miss Lily, who is sitting surprisingly further than arm's reach away from me whilst I record, was kicked out of my office twice this week for, uh, various crimes.
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Failure to comply was one.
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Not following directions was another.
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Being an absolute menace to society was probably one of the top ones and using really sharp teefers to get mom's attention was the final straw.
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So we'll see how long she lasts.
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Also, apparently Nala and Lucy are having a cat fight in the office doorway.
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So this could be an interesting recording session.
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But I realized, like, not even realized, I had like an aha moment.
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this week and not like a, Oh, light bulb, aha, but like the clouds part, the sun beams down and a chorus of angels go, Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh.
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that's what happened in my, in my life this week.
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and it was so funny.
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I had to share`it.
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So I had therapy today.
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And as you all know.
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I love therapy.
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Therapy, everyone should be in therapy, honestly, life just gets better when you talk about shit, especially to a person who's not immediately involved in your shit, it's delightful.
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but y'all know I love therapy and y'all know I love my therapist.
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My therapist is rad.
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so I told her in my session today, I was like, Oh my gosh, I put up a new episode and she was like, Oh my gosh, that's so exciting.
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She doesn't sound like that.
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that's not her voice, I'm not going to record my therapy sessions to share with you.
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Uh, we don't have that kind of a relationship, so that's not going to happen.
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So you just get to experience my exaggerated retellings of what happened.
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so I told her she was really excited, and then we kind of-got to talking, shocking in therapy.
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and I kind of started telling her about this aha moment.
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I mean, I didn't tell her about the angels singing in the sun and stuff.
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That, that just came to me.
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It was very poetic and lyrical.
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As I'm sitting here in the vibe space, like, that's what's happening.
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The vibes are translating through the colorful microphone, which naturally, I also had to move my camera and show her.
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But Back to the point.
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So I was talking to her about this aha moment that I had, when it came to podcasting, because she and I have talked about podcasting a lot, you know, since I started the podcast two years ago, it's been that long.
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and.
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You know, she's, heard me talk about the things that stressed me out about podcasting the things that are hard and she'll ask me, Hey, have you recorded yet?
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And I'd be like, no, but I've like played around.
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But.
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You know, we, she's been on this journey with me which is really cool.
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Like, not like with me, she's not sitting next to me, like holding my hand while we journey.
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but she's been a witness as this is going on.
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Right.
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And so talking about this aha moment, I'm like, oh, obviously I have to share it with her.
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She will appreciate this.
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So I.
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I was telling her all about it.
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We spent a vast majority of my therapy session this morning talking about this aha moment.
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So I don't know if I've talked about this, uh, on the podcast yet, but I doubt it will come as a surprise to any of you.
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Uh, I am not cool.
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Uh, it's very important to preface it with that.
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I'm not cool.
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I've never been cool.
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I won't ever be cool.
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And that is perfectly fine for me.
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I have been weird and kooky since the beginning of whatever.
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So when I was in high school, I was signed up for speech and debate class.
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I did not sign myself up for that class.
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Hence.
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My mother at forecasting night saw the speech and debate table, made a beeline for it, and signed me up.
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I will say, in hindsight, that of the two classes forced upon me, one was, was band.
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And one was speech and debate.
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One of them was beneficial, one was not.
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the one that was not was band.
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band was not beneficial to me in the long run.
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At all.
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It was not a great experience, but speech and debate, speech and debate was a great experience.
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It, looking back now, so my freshman year of high school was, oh Jesus, uh, 2002.
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It was in this millennium.
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Some of my listeners maybe weren't even born yet.
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I don't know your age demographics.
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Feel free to share.
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but.
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You know, 2002, I was 14 and I could not speak in front of people to save my life.
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I said, um, a lot.
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I mean, I do now, but when I do, I'm aware of it.
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Back then, I did not know what was happening and I could not give a speech in front of people and if I did, I blacked out, so like, I couldn't tell you afterwards if it went well.
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I could barely tell you if I gave the speech, but it was just not great and back then, in the old days, there were like these benchmarks that we had to hit and for them, you had to do like speeches and all this stuff and writing and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, testing for tests and things.
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Some things don't change.
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But my mom signed me up for this, for this class and, you know, through this class, I gained valuable skills that I'm still using.
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Now, in the year 2025, so that's a slight gap.
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How big of a gap is that?
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Hold on.
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I'm mathing.
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Oh, oh, I don't like that.
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Oh, that's gross.
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That's like 23 years.
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We should never talk about that again.
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Um, I just feel really old now.
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I'm gonna go pet my knitting and use my hanky and just reinforce that feeling.
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But You know, as a, as a 14-year-old, high school student, I was uncomfortable.
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And I was like, I don't like talking in front of groups of people, especially not strangers.
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And none of my friends were in this class, right?
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None of them were in this class.
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I didn't even wanna be in this class.
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And the first real assignment I remember was, uh, we had to write eulogies.
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We had to write a eulogy for somebody.
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Because when you're 14, 15, 16, blah blah blah, up and up from there, because there were kids from, a variety of ages in this class, most of the time you've never thought about writing a eulogy.
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I know I hadn't really, but I digress.
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So that's the thing I remember the most from that very first speech term.
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And from that, I joined the speech and debate team.
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This is where we get back to the part where I'm not cool and I'm super nerdy.
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So I, I competed in speech and debate at like the regional level and the state level.
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I was never like super great at it, but I did, and parts of it were really fun.
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And since graduating from high school, since that very first speech and debate class, truly.
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I can draw direct lines from those experiences in that classroom to specific moments in my life.
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Without having done speech and debate, I would not have been able to participate in and then direct The Vagina Monologues.
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When I was in college, I would not have been able to do in home parties and talk to groups of absolute strangers about vibrators, lubricant, and, sexual health, which we will talk about in another episode.
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Cause I'm dying to get to that.
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Uh, not actually dying, but like, I am just jonesing for that one.
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but like I can draw very specific lines in my life from one Instance to another.
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I don't know if you guys have like, had that epiphany moment or you know, had that realization that, aha, like, oh, this thing I did is still impacting me today.
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Like, in a positive way.
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I know that for myself, a lot of the time I will focus on like, the negative things that are still impacting me.
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Uh, hello, trauma.
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But, uh, but it's, it's not often that I am able to think about and focus on the positives.
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And Lily, I love it so much that you're trying to rub your butt on the microphone.
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That is so cute.
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So helpful.
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Thank you.
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Do you want to say hello to the people?
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No, you just want to create chaos and mayhem.
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Okay, great.
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So just like a Monday.
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Um, oh yeah, so I squirreled so hard, but I I don't really hear a lot of people talking about those positive, experiences that they're pulling forward with them, whether, it's intentional or not.
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Lily just pulled the microphone across the desk with her butt, mainly her tail.
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It's very controlling.
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But yeah, so I've, I've had this, this like aha moment.
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And so I started like digging into it more, really thinking about it, like what, how is it impacting me now?
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You know, like, okay, I can see.
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This was just kind of the progression of the thinking, you know, I can see generally how this, this podcast, like doing this is impacted by and influenced by that speech and debate class.
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And it wasn't until I really sat down and thought about what I did when I was competing for speech and debate and when I was, you know, practicing because you have to practice.
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I don't know if there are any speeches out there, but like you have to practice.
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There are certain skills that you have to develop walking in a diamond shape without looking at the floor.
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That is a very important skill that you don't think you need, but you do.
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Learning how to just pause and not say um, or uh, or like, which I do all of those.
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Because I'm an adult and I can now.
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See, I almost did it right there.
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I was like, don't do it.
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But you know, there are, there are very specific skills that I gained from those experiences and I realized that the skills that I use the most are the skills I learned from Competing in impromptu speaking.
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So, so for those of you who don't really know what that is, I like to call it, um, professional bullshitting, you know, semi professional bullshitting, where you can be given a word or a general topic and you have a set time.
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Minimum time that you have to hit and a maximum time that you can't go over.
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So for those of you who are competitive, I can, I can feel you going, Oh yeah, I could do this.
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Oh, I could totally do this.
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Let's like throw down.
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Don't throw down.
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Don't throw down, especially if you're throwing down with somebody who has that skill and that experience, they will just wipe the floor with you.
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And gleefully so.
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But doing impromptu speaking requires The ability to think on your feet.
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The ability to pull random ass facts out of the middle of nowhere.
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So thankfully I was always able to connect mine to movies.
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If you don't know about my secret superpower, one day I'll tell you.
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But Those are all parts of, of the, the training, the practice that you do and being aware of time, like the passage of time in smaller increments.
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because when a second makes a difference, you know how many seconds you have left.
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And like fitting that in and knowing how that works and knowing, Okay, I've moved from my introduction to my first point over here at the top of the diamond, and then you're walking, and you're walking, but you can't go too fast, and you help to pace yourself with the talking by walking.
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I pace myself by walking.
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with hand gestures.
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One of these days I will record on video me recording the podcast.
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It'll be very meta.
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You'll see lots of cats, and you will see me hit myself in the face while I'm gesticulating because I get that excited.
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But, you know, talking about it and like out loud, because I would talk about it with the cats, of course, naturally.
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I run so many ideas off of them, but it's It's realizing, oh, oh, that's where that skill comes in.
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And so when I was talking to my therapist, you know, I said to her, you know,, when we've talked, I've told you that, you know, having, doing research on a topic and then trying to, map it out and talk about it stresses me out so frickin much.
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Lily, I need you to decide where you're gonna be.
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Are you gonna be on your shelf?
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Are you gonna be on the floor?
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Are you going to be on my lap, or are you going to be over there with your sisters?
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I need you to pick one.
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We're going with the shelf.
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Great.
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I appreciate that for you.
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You know, I keep thinking she's a kitten.
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My little kitten, my little baby, she's going to be four this year, you guys.
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That's how kitten she is still.
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It's orange cats, but back to before Lily's butt got in the way this time.
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So what I realized was.
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You know, when I had to sit down and plan out an episode, I'm going to hit, you know, these points and blah, blah, blah, blah.
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In my brain, I'm like, yeah, we're just going to do this and this, but like the, the muscle memory that's built in thinks about it like a speech.
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And so I competed in impromptu speaking.
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Professional bullshitting.
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I competed in poetry where you like read and connect poems and blah, blah, blah, stuff and things.
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And, which is a different timeframe than impromptu speaking.
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I also did prose, which is you know, you read a section of a book, you do an introduction, you do a conclusion, you have to talk about why, blah, blah, blah, stuff and things.
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Different timeframe for that also.
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Like there's a bunch of different kinds of speeches.
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There were some that I was better at than others.
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And now.
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Those skills transfer really well if I'm working on like papers for school or when I have to do role playing videos.
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I hate them.
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But that part of it when it comes to podcasting makes me super anxious and part of that is because when I podcast I am sitting down, right?
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I don't have, I don't have the movement to help me go from my introduction to my first point.
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And then my sub points and then move to my second point and sub point.
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Like I'm not physically moving.
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So that adds to the anxiety.
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And then there's the, Oh, did I research enough?
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Do I really know what I'm talking about?
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I'm doing a podcast.
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I'm doing a podcast where people seemingly like to listen to me talk about random shit and my cats and yarn and whatever else.
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So it's.
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It doesn't have to have that structure, right?
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And I've gone back and listened to some of my episodes, which, oh God, painful, so painful.
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But I can tell the episodes where I did more research, and I tried to do it really structural.
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And it felt so forced, and listening to it, I can hear that in my voice.
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But episodes like this one, where I'm like, Oh, blah, blah, blah, blah, words and things, right?
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It's a lot more because of the nature of what it is.
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It's a lot more fluid and free flowing.
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And I'm not anxious when I record like this.
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And my therapist was like, that's really interesting.
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Also, I didn't know you did speech and debate.
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I'm like, I know.
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Low key.
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Low key, nerdy, awesome.
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And I actually am still friends with some of my speechies.
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I used to regularly see our speech coach when she would come down to state.
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I would visit with her when she was in town.
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It was really funny, but like very impactful in my life and reflecting on it now.
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It's like, Oh man, this is still like, this is still active and still hitting.
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And, you know, I, I've found a happy medium when I have, when I've had guests on who, who are, you know, chit chatting with me.
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And that is more, Because usually it'll be like a general, this is what I'd like us to talk about.
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so with Sam, it was talking about grief and loss with Evelyn, AKA Xavier Javier xavier.
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It was talking about, you know, drag and mental health.
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And so like there are these more general broad categories, but areas that are specifically.
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for that person.
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And I'm like, this is what I want to talk about.
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And, you know, I'm going to try to ask these, get to know you questions or whatever.
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And then I would like to hit maybe these topics if we can get there.
00:19:24.819 --> 00:19:36.670
And that's, that's like the layout of, of when I, when I do like a, an interview guest situation and it doesn't feel forced.
00:19:36.690 --> 00:19:42.470
It doesn't feel part, well, sometimes it does until you get like into the flow of actually having the conversation with somebody.
00:19:43.519 --> 00:19:44.150
But.
00:19:45.960 --> 00:19:49.430
It's different than that, that rigid structure.
00:19:49.440 --> 00:19:52.890
I've listened to lots of podcasts where they have a very specific structure.
00:19:53.180 --> 00:19:54.740
You go in, there's your intro.
00:19:54.740 --> 00:19:58.549
Then there's this first section, second section, this other section.
00:19:58.549 --> 00:20:01.240
They do, like all of these things, they're very structured.
00:20:02.559 --> 00:20:04.210
I've wanted to do that.
00:20:04.609 --> 00:20:07.039
My brain doesn't work that way.
00:20:07.089 --> 00:20:16.440
So if you were coming here for some structure, uh, and predictability, I hate to be the bearer of, uh, news.