WEBVTT
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Greetings and salutations.
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Welcome to Sorry,.
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That's My Inside Voice.
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I'm your host, Kat Garcia, and It's been a minute.
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Um, like a long minute.
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Possibly more than a handful of minutes.
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We could say some hours or some, you know, other method of counting the passage of time, but It's definitely, it's definitely been an interesting period of time since the last time I recorded or shared an episode.
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Uh, if you heard any odd sounds there, that was just Lilly, per usual, helping out.
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It's her favorite, as you know.
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Um, so since the last time we chatted, uh, let's see, there had been a lot of changes.
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Um, I imagine lots of changes for you, because I know there have been lots of changes for me.
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And, you know, a big, a big part of why I haven't recorded in such a long time is I just wasn't sure how to talk about all the things going on.
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Um, I wasn't sure if people still Wanted to hear from me or listen to new episodes or listen at all.
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And, you know, I was, my last episode, I think was the end of June, 2024.
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And that's definitely been some time.
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And I was wrapping up my final term of school.
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I had lots of like stuff going on at work and in my personal life.
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And I'm like, you know.
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I'll just, I'll just give it a minute and I'll, I'll work on figuring podcast stuff out, but let me figure just like big life stuff out first and then, you know, once you get out of the habit of doing a thing, It's It's hard to go back to sometimes.
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And there have been a handful of times since then where I'm like, Oh man, you know, I should record.
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Or, Oh, that'd be really interesting to talk about with this person.
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Or, I don't know what other people think about this.
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Maybe it's just me.
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But, The actual, like, execution of doing the thing is fucking hard.
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You guys know, like, making the decision to do a thing is like the first.
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Five steps and then it's like the follow through and, man, putting together a podcast episode is so much more work than I think I realized when I, when I first started this, um, back in, God, what was that?
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2022?
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I'd have to go back and look.
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It's been a minute.
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But.
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You know, I got out of the habit and I'm like, I don't, it's a lot of work.
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And I don't know if people are still listening, aside from like, my friends.
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And you know, you get, you get discouraged and you're like, Oh, you know, it's fine.
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Nobody, nobody was really like paying attention or, or anything like that.
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Right.
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You minimize all of your shit because it's just easier.
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It's easier to.
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To not do it than it is to do it, right?
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The doing of the thing is the hard part.
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The deciding not to, it's a lot easier, usually.
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But, you know, I've been thinking about it a lot more in the last month or two and You know, I dropped my very first episode on January 1st, uh, no, 2023, January 1st, 2023.
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And it was, I called it sneak peek.
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It was like a sneak peek episode.
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Um, and I'm looking, so I'm looking at like the stats for it right now, and it was 22 minutes and 27 seconds long.
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And I was like, oh, it was so stressful.
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It was so stressful.
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And I went back and listened to it.
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I'm like, it's rough, but it's fine.
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It's fine.
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I'm still learning.
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It's all learning.
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It's all a learning process.
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And then this year, we're coming up on January 1st, and I just, I did not have it in me to sit down and record.
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I just, I did not have the spoons.
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I did not have anything in the tank to, to get on and, and record.
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But you know what happened instead?
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I remembered how much I missed it.
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I remembered how much I missed finding a spot in my apartment and recording something and just sitting down and recording.
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And the last month and a half, All I've seen popping up in, like, my Facebook memories and things have been pictures of the first, like, chunk of time, right after I, I started putting up episodes, and holy gods, the, the, the bizarre recording setups that I had for myself, like, jerry rigging a mic stand, and, Uh, or mic arm to a coffee table and trying to make sure a cat didn't knock it off.
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Or my personal favorite was the blanket fort that I made.
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Uh, and I had to keep the episode really short cause I kept getting so hot and overheated.
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And, you know, now my setup is, is.
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It's very, very chill.
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This is probably the chillest setup I think I've had.
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Um, and some of that has to do with some of the changes that have been going on for me.
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So, um, you know, I was finishing up school.
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I think the last, the last episode that I posted was"Just Do The Thing.
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Or Not.".
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Yeah.
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June 30th, 2024, it was 40 minutes and 23 seconds.
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And I talked a lot about.
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You know, doing, deciding to do the thing.
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Um, and You know, I think it comes down to a lot of the time, no matter what the thing is, deciding to do it is, is one of the hardest parts.
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Everything else, you're like, okay, I can figure this out.
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You know, it's this step and then this step, but it's the deciding to do the thing or choosing not to.
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Um, but you want to hear more about that.
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You go listen to that episode.
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Um, but I was in the middle of wrapping up my final term of my undergrad.
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And just so overwhelmed.
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I was not particularly happy at my job.
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I was having a lot of stressors in like my family life.
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And podcasts got the back burner, you know, it was, it was the easiest of the things to set aside, because clearly I can't set the cats aside.
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Um, I mean, you've seen them, they're demanding.
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They haven't gotten less demanding since the last time I recorded, nor since the first time I posted an episode, if anything, they've just gotten needier.
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Um, but I let the podcast kind of become the, the last thing, right?
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And it's like, Oh, I'll get to that.
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I'll get to that.
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And then more changes and more time went by and it's like, Oh, it's so easy.
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It's so easy to say, I don't have time to do that.
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Or, Oh, I don't have anything to talk about.
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Or nobody, nobody wants to listen to anything I have to say.
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I don't have anything really to contribute to any conversation.
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And.
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Every time I would have that, every time I would have some variation of that thought, you know what would happen?
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I, I would get a notification that somebody else had just downloaded an episode of the podcast.
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And I would go, what?
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What is happening?
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Because I haven't put up anything new.
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It's, it's not like, it's, it's not like there's something new and exciting happening, right?
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Like, there's no way in hell I'm trending anywhere.
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Have you met me?
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I am not trendy, ever.
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But, there have been blips, um, where All of a sudden, there would just be this big old spike in people listening, and it was crazy.
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It was absolutely crazy.
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Today, uh, February 8th, nine, there were nine downloads today.
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I don't know where, where they were from.
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I haven't looked.
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I can see some things, but not everything, you know.
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I'm not the wizard, but like, it's been a while, right?
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Since I recorded.
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Since I posted something, since I felt like actually getting on and reacquainting myself with the software and the new microphone and mic stand that I got myself.
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Guys, it lights up and it does like that cool like color change business.
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I will have to post a video of the microphone because it's so pretty.
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But um, you know, I, it, you know, It made me want to, there's going to be a thump and I can't prevent it because Lilly is on a shelf right next to me and she's trying to figure out how to get down here and, oh yeah, you might've heard that.
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That was Lil.
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Now she's checking us out.
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You know how they like to help, but you know, I saw that today and I was, I was at game night with, with some friends and I was just like, holy shit.
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And they're all like, what?
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Are you okay?
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I'm like, there've been nine downloads.
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Of your podcast?
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Yeah.
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They're like, that's so cool.
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I'm like, yeah, but why?
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And they're like, people are finding you.
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People are still finding you.
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The things that you're talking about, people like to hear.
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Also, you're kind of funny.
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I'm like, well, I don't know about that.
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But it was the first time in a long time where I got home and I was like, you know what?
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I'm going to record.
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I don't care it's 10 o'clock at night.
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I'm going to do it.
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And so I came into my office and I got my laptop plugged in and set up and plugged in the new microphone for the first time.
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And obviously, let's be very clear, I got distracted for about 10 minutes about how pretty the microphone is when it lights up.
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Like, it's really pretty.
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Thank God.
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I like it when there're pretty lights, as we all know.
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Um, and I just, I just decided, you know, why not?
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Why not put up a new episode and record it and see, see what happens.
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And so that's what we're doing.
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That's what I'm gonna do today.
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You know, this isn't gonna be, it's not gonna be a half hour episode.
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It's not gonna be an hour episode.
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It's just me.
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Talking to you from my office, my work from home office, uh, at 11 o'clock at night on a Saturday.
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And I was so anxious.
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I was so anxious sitting down to do this.
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I'm like, Oh shit.
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Like, what if nothing works?
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It's like, Katherine, it's gonna work.
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You have electricity.
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If you have a problem, text your brother, he will help you with troubleshooting from a zip code away, you know, um, and so I just made myself sit down and do it.
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And one of the things that I've found about myself is if I do the thing and, you know, I do the thing and I don't talk about it beforehand, I am more likely to, To either talk myself out of doing it entirely or telling myself basically to shut up, suck it up, sit down and do it.
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Um, and tonight clearly it was, was one of the, the latter options and it's just, it's like when I did, I posted my first episode, you know, I'd been talking about starting this podcast and if you listen to the episodes, the early ones, you'll have heard me talk about it.
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And if not, you can always go back and find them.
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They're still out in the universe.
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But you know, I, I'd been talking about doing a podcast for, excuse me, for such a long time and kind of built up in my head.
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Oh, this is gonna be really fucking hard.
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And I'm not prepared.
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I troubleshot that for myself though.
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As my brother says, past Kat looking out for future Kat.
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100 percent real.
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Because I planned ahead and I got the equipment ready so that when I was finally ready, I didn't have an excuse to not do the thing.
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So tonight when I got home from game night with friends, I came in here and naturally I locked the door cause, hello, SSDGM guys, stay sexy, don't get murdered.
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You know what that's from?
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Go listen to My Favorite Murder.
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They're fabulous.
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Um, and I got home, I locked the door, I made sure the cats had food cause God forbid.
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And I came in my office, I'm like, maybe I won't.
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And I looked over and I remembered, oh yeah, past me set up this mic stand a month ago and my headphones are right there on the desk.
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And all I have to do is plug in my laptop.
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So I literally had no reason tonight not to jump on and record.
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And so I did.
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I did panic for a second because like, oh god, what if I don't remember my passwords for stuff?
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Girl, you save your passwords every time you have a new one.
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You just save it to password manager.
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I don't care that it's all hackable.
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Everything is hackable right now.
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Saving my passwords makes life easier in moments like this, but sometimes just doing it and not, not asking for other people's opinions to use it to try to talk yourself out of whatever it is you want to do is just terrifying and so lovely.
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So that's what I did.
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And as soon as I started recording, like, my heart rate went down.
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And I felt myself get calmer, and I stopped stressing as much.
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I also think it helps that I put these cute little, like, mini, squishy ish plastic squishmallows on top of the webcam on my computer.
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So I look like I'm talking to people.
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Um, but it just felt so nice to sit and And start talking into a microphone in a darkish room alone.
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Weird as that sounds, but here we are.
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So, you know, I don't, I don't know what recording is going to look like.
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Right now, um, you know, I, talking about changes, I switched jobs to a job that I love.
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I love this new job and one of the great things is I get to work from home.
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So I'm covered in cats all day.
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Um, but I'm working from home.
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And I started grad school! I started grad school, you guys.
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Like, I fucking finally did it.
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Um, and I'm, I'm finishing up the second term and I get a two week break.
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And it makes me go, man, when we were kids, we had it so good and we didn't even know it.
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Like, we got actual breaks where we didn't have to go to work and work was just summer and making it through the summer.
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And now I'm like, Oh, I've got two weeks off and I'm going to work and there's like a holiday in there, but I'm probably just going to sleep, you know, cause I'm an adult and that's all I do.
00:18:47.734 --> 00:18:52.704
But there are lots of, lots of big things right now.
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Right.
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And Lilly.
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My love, get off the keyboard.
00:18:58.230 --> 00:18:59.150
Yeah, go over there.
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Thank you, love you, bye.
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Um, there are lots of things and so I, I'm recording tonight and I would love to be able to tell you that I'm going to put up a new episode every week on this day and it's going to be this long and we're going to talk about these things and I'm going to plan it out beforehand and I'm going to research.
00:19:30.039 --> 00:19:45.630
I I know you know, much better, I know you know, that That is not how we do life around here, right?
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It's just not.
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That's a lot of pre planning and scheduling and forethought and sometimes this is more of a fly by the seat of your pants podcast.
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It's better than the mystery prize at the bottom of Cracker Jacks.
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Honestly, that's a personal opinion, but here we are.
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And in the 30 episodes that I have uploaded, um, how many of them were like planned ahead, like thoroughly, like maybe five?
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I don't know.
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You guys don't seem to mind.
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Um, so we'll, we'll keep it, we're going to keep it loosey goosey for now, but.
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I am working on it.
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You know, I'm working on reintegrating this part of myself, this part of my life back in.
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And I love and appreciate you for sticking around, for hanging in there.
00:20:52.815 --> 00:20:53.634
Um.
00:20:53.815 --> 00:20:59.265
for finding the podcast, if you just happened across it.
00:20:59.484 --> 00:21:02.974
If you've just like stumbled, not like stumble upon.
00:21:02.984 --> 00:21:06.065
Does anyone remember like the stumble upon website?
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That shit was bomb.
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I found some good stuff on, anyway, sorry, squirrel.
00:21:11.835 --> 00:21:18.765
Um, but if you've just like randomly stumbled upon this podcast and you're like, huh.
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Please let me know how the hell you found it.
00:21:22.005 --> 00:21:23.355
Like, how did you get here?
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I'm curious.
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I love that you're here.
00:21:26.954 --> 00:21:28.394
Um, why?
00:21:29.565 --> 00:21:31.724
Why are any of us here, truly?
00:21:31.884 --> 00:21:33.234
Stop eating my hand.
00:21:33.724 --> 00:21:36.694
Ow! You have razors! You know what?
00:21:38.095 --> 00:21:45.404
It's been a while since I recorded an episode, but Lilly is still, Um, benevolent chaos.
00:21:45.565 --> 00:21:48.325
It's really sharp, sharky teefs.
00:21:48.845 --> 00:21:54.384
But if you're willing to hang in and stick it out, we'll see what happens.
00:21:54.414 --> 00:22:04.605
And I hope and hope and hope that I will have more episodes to share and more humans to interview.
00:22:04.615 --> 00:22:06.835
Clearly cats don't make good interviewees.
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